Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Deep thoughts by DJ

So this morning I got to have breakfast with my best friend Deyl and he was telling me all about a trip to Europe that he just got back from and he always talks about how amazing his wife Paige is and how much he loves her and stuff like that and he got me really excited to one day travel around Europe with my wife...and so I did what anybody would do - I went and found pictures of my ex-girlfriends.

..I was actually looking for pics for a magazine article but regardless it got me thinking...

Do we really have "types" because these girls are totally different! Jen is a tall blonde with blue eyes and is from Colorado and total outdoorsy girl who likes camping and things like that

and Saxon is from AZ and a total city girl who's barely over 5 ft and has brown hair and brown eyes.

So what do you think?


Melissa Carl said...

gosh... I don't think my last two boyfriends could be ANY different. (meaning the last one and the current one)

Just the age difference alone is completely different. LOL

I think when you find true love, then you realize what your "type" really is... all the relationships before it only show you what your type is not. make sence? (hey it's 2am...I have know idea what I am saying?)

J@KE said...

Are you sure you want to open this "can of worms"?????

Sounds to me like you're asking for punishment. I don't know I guess I'm just a big fan of waiting for God to write my love story. If I let Him then I don't even have to date. I mean do we believe He knows what's best for us or not??? So if He knows, and He is in fact a good God, then there's no reason for Him to not give us what's best. The only catch is...... We have to trust Him and wait for His timing (which is most of the time not in OUR timeframe). If we are faithful in this.... it eliminates the "shopping around" which can get very exasperating not to mention disheartening.


Anonymous said...

I'm so upset right now that you left my picture out of this trip down memory lane.... ;...(

|| davidjay || said...

:) The real question is - Do you want to open THAT can of worms! :)

I agree with you that God knows best and letting Him give us His best in His time is the best way to go about our life...and I also think that God wants to do much more in our life than provide us with a spouse - so I don't really think the "shopping around" analogy should be used as a parallel to "dating" because, although usually well intentioned, it can lead people away from work that God wants to do in us and through us.

I think that God's desire is to mold us into who He wants us to be and one of the key ways He does that is through relationships, whether it be a marriage relationship, a dating relationship, or just a friendship.

So, again I agree, we need to fully trust Him and we need to wait on Him but I think we're also called to act...of course when we act we run the risk of messing things up...but that's true inside or outside of a relationship.

So back to my question - Are blonde's better than brunettes? ...oh wait.... that wasn't the question...it was "Do we have a type?" :)

I can already tell this one is gonna be fun!

|| davidjay || said...

Shane - LOL! Those pictures were just too painful to go through...

Kelly Sullivan said...

Sounds to me like you just haven't found the right REDHEAD! We are the ones who have the most fun!

LOVE what you said about God's desire is to mold us into who He wants us to be and one of the key ways He does that is through relationships, whether it be a marriage relationship, a dating relationship, or just a friendship. I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree. I just wish it wasn't such a looooong process!

Dane Sanders said...

I think you're gonna get a lot of hits on your blog today :) ...

Liana said...

haha. you guys are hilarious!

Did you read that book J@ke?? Soo good and I'd have to put a big fat "ditto" on your response. Smart smart guy you are!

As far as hair color is concerned... I think God knows best here too... gives us natural attractions (ie... never really been attracted to red-head dudes, etc)... and we can choose to identify them or ignore them.

And Shane... TMI from the comments alone!!! lol

Kevin Von Qualen said...

I think girls are trouble!!!

(and yet strangely awesome....)

CoztheGrov said...

I wonder if Westmont desensitizes guys to amazing women?

Deyl said...

alls i know is that God had to be involved to fool Paige into liking me enough to marry me!

Sarah Barlow said...

Wow! Great post:)
As far a types go...
Same here with liking people that are VERY different...but looking back they all had things very much in common too..
So I think it all boils down to who you actually want to spend the rest of your life with!! My dad thought he had a certain "type" of girl that he liked: sang, played instruments, ect.. but when it came down to actually choosing someone he chose my mom...because he liked her!! lol!
I think that God has someone perfect made for each of us and trusting that he will show us is hard but worth it:)

Anonymous said...

well not types, but you go for very cute girls with big smiles, so, i think you will get married to a girl with.........red hair!

The thing is when i put pictures up on my site of ex-girlfiends, my girlfiend is going to kill me...:)

Fairplay to you man....

bryanthomson said...

Hey DJ,
I think that your trying way to hard and analyzing your love life way too much. I hate to clasify people I've dated into types, because then your stereotyping them and that means you didn't get to know them like you should have.

The love of my life just came in one day when I was working at my last job @ GAP in SB and tried on a few clothes. At the end I asked for her number and went on a walk with her the next day and the last 2 years are what follows.

What I'm saying there is the love of your life is probably right under your knoes and she'll come into the light when God wants her to. SO PREPARE YOURSELF DJ. Just keep doing what your doing, being successful and all, and your good karma will send you that person that will complete you and your life.


P.S.-Looking forward to the PUG meeting on the 30th in SB.

Paige Kearin said...

If you have read "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell, Malcolm talks about a study were people identify what they want in a partner and then actually meet people through speed dating. What did the study reveal? The people who they were attracted to didn't meet the criteria they originally identified!

Our brain doesn’t know who we like only our gut. Love isn’t analytical.

Besides that, why wait to get married to go to Europe?

Shyla said...

I agree with Kevin... Girls are trouble!! But life would be boring if thier wasnt the element of trouble mixed in, now wouldnt it...? ;)

To answer DJ's question...
I think 'types' function as preferences that we adopt through culture or influence but they shouldnt dictate who we date necessarily. Just look at Americans vs. Africans...In our culture, thin is in...in thiers, the idea is the meatier the better. In the middle east they like blue eyes because its predominately a brown eyed society. Neither is right or wrong, just different preferences. Even then though, I think sometimes we allow our types..or preferences...to keep us from experiencing something completley different and perhaps better! I have dated completley different people and through that, I not only have great friends now, but I have had the opportunity to expeirence what works and what doesnt work relationship wise :)

Overall though, I agree with Paige...love shouldnt be analytical, All us single folk should just sit back, relax, and go with the flow...just LIVE LIFE and dont put it on hold waiting for the right 'type' to come along :)

Anonymous said...

You know the type when you see/meet her. I saw my wife for the first time and told my fried I would marry her. After seeing her at a student exchange party I got the list of all the families who had exchange students in my area. I went down the list called and asked/described the girl I saw. When I found her I asked her out. Sometime during our dating I told her she was the girl I was going to marry. She laughed, at me?? Anyhow this August 2006 will be 13 years of marriage and 2 kids ages 4 & 6.

What can I say, I was really blown away when I saw her and just knew she was the one.

Daniel J. Watkins said...

Shopping is fun. ;)

Not sure about the God has a perfect match for us stuff...how ironic is it that our perfect match most often lives in the same city then? I think God gives us the ability to make it work with the people we find attractive and that find us attractive. To keep it working, we have to rely on His presence in the relationship. Any more of that floating around waiting for something to happen is a little too ethereal / Forest Gump-ish for me to believe! LOL It's like that old tale about the guy who prayed very hard to God that he would win the lottery. After two attempts, no luck. Finally God told the man he has to do his part too...he needs to AT LEAST go buy a lottery ticket. :)

BTW...brunettes rule.

Jasmine said...

If you would have asked me to paint a picture of how my husband would look, it would be the complete OPPOSITE of the man I married! People THINK they have a 'type' but when it comes down to it, what one falls in love with is the heart and soul...not the eye color or smile :)

The Alpha Course said...

Jasmine - you hit the nail on the head (blonde, brunette or red).

So did Missy

No you don't have a type - if you think you do, it's probably the wrong type.

Make sure the UK is on your European tour - can't wait to meet your wife!!!!!!!!

|| davidjay || said...

Awesome thoughts everyone! It's so fun to hear how everyone thinks about this stuff!

I totally agree with Kevin and CoztheGrov! - I think Westmont does desensitize us guys to great women b/c there are so many of them there! When I was at Westmont the guy/girl ratio was 4/1. I think I'm gonna re-enroll! :)

I like the lottery story too!

Mark - I totally wanna come to the UK - the accent of the girls out there might be my type! lol

Joe Barlow, a pastor, 10th of 14 kids, father of 7, husband of one beautiful wife said...

Well DJ, someday you need to hear how Nancy & I got together, it is totally amazing & miraculous. Too long for this small box. I'll get to it on d'blog hopefully soon.
But, in reference to your post: types schmypes, get a girl who can cook! lol
As the father of 7 I can tell you that's veeeerrrryyyy important.
For further on this topic see Relient K - Mood Ring song - it's full of wisdom. Again lol
See ya

Anonymous said...

Hey DJ,
I was just reading your post about ex girlfriends and sent a little e-mail to my friend, teasing her about you... because I think she needs to stop falling for these punk rockers and get herself a nice guy.

I was teasing her about meeting someone nice like you, but on accident I just realized that I sent it to the Pug e-mail as well. Mortified!!!! That'll teach me to send e-mails out quickly!

Anonymous said...

Wow! How did I know this one was going to spark some interest? ;)

I think everyone has some things that really attacked them. For some it is hair color, others it is a great smile, some it is the way someone walks. My point is that for you DJ it is not hair color. That is one of those things you are open on attraction wise. Your "type" includes a list that does not include haircolor.

The one thing that I think is interesting to do is to write your list. Don't include hair color but include all the things that REALLY matter to YOU!

I agree on waiting on GOD but I plan to be ready to recognize it when he puts it in front of me!

Oh, and I agree with Paige! Why wait to get married to go to Europe? ;) Oh ya, you aren't!!! Yipey!!! Can't wait! We are going to have a BLAST!!!!

Matt said...

I would take door #1 - Jen.