Monday, December 15, 2008

Get together

Thank you so much for all your love and support. I've been reading every post, comment, and email and I can't thank you enough for sharing with me in this time.

When we go through rough times it is life saving to know that we have people we can talk to about it. I have the most wonderful friends and people around me who care about me and help me through the crap I go through but I realize that not everybody has that and it scares me to think about what they do when they have drama in their life...because regardless of the degree of our troubles when we're in the midst of drama in our life - it's very real and our hearts hurt deeply.

A couple of years ago I read this article in the USA Today and I still have the actual article but it gave some shocking statistics that have probably gotten worse. 25% of Americans have nobody they can confide in. This is heartbreaking. We need each other. We need close friends and we need to spend more time together and less time typing to each other.

Make it a priority this week to get together with somebody in your life who is having a rough time. We all know of somebody and just love on them. Things escalate this time of year and to be alone and hurting can really crush people and you have no idea how you could change their life by simply being with them and sharing in some of their pain.


Christine said...

Hi DJ. I met you up in Concord, NH at one of your seminars (we brought that Patriots jersey). I can't agree with you more how important friends and a great support network are. My friends have been there for me and have been so supportive in my time of need. What I have found is that people really want to help if you let them. This year, my husband and I have had an incredibly hard year....we went through bankruptcy, had to short sale our condo to prevent foreclosure, our precious sheepdog, Amber, died the night we moved into our new apartment, our photography business came to a standstill, the transmission in our truck went, and my husband has had a hard time finding full time work. If it weren't for the big hearts of our friends and family, I'd probably be locked up somewhere! But I still continue to be positive and think positive because that's what I want in my life. We were blessed with finding a sweet new sheepdog named Muffin, I have a steady job, great friends and family and my husband has started a new job. I have a lot to be thankful for. I know there are so many more people less fortunate than I. I know 2009 will be much better for all of us. I wish you all the best and you are in my thoughts and prayers. You are such an amazing man and have so much talent and my husband and I really enjoy your blog. God wants all of us to slow down a bit and smell the roses. Spending time with friends and family is so important and good for the soul. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

sara d harper said...

Are you saying you want us to all come over to the freedom house? haha.

praying for you!


Michael + Anna Costa said...

I'm sad. We love both you and Allie to death!

I love how you put it, "..we need to spend more time together and less time typing to each other." Puts things into perspective...

Your in our prayers and I KNOW everything will work out for the best. xoxo

Deb said...

Romans 8:28 - Even though you FEEL down, don't trust your feelings. God knows the best for you; trust Him and not how you feel. "God knows, he loves, he cares; nothing this truth can dim. He gives his very best to those who leave the choice to Him!"

Ginger Murray said...

We all need each other. We're in this together.

If you haven't had time to watch it (8 minutes.. and it doesnt' have a pause button), my friend Ben who's editing my promo vid right now has a video on his website that I thought of again, when you mentioned that we have very few people we can confide in:

(Go to "Video Samples," and then "Universal Sigh.")

I've been praying, and so have so many other people... i hope you guys are feeling those prayers. Hang in there... I know it can be so hard.

Michael + Anna Costa Photographers said...

1st Part:
I admire you putting it all out there, realizing how you can improve, and manning up. Allie is a sweetheart and I'm very sorry to hear that. You're a good man too DJ. It sounds like you know where you need to go now in your life and I know you know that truly listening to our Father in Heaven and growing closer to the people you need to be in touch with will bring great happiness and fulfillment. With Christmas upon us, you have a great opportunity during so many parties and the spirit of Christmas.

2nd Part:
The second half of this you can ignore if you want because I don't know the ins and outs of your whole situation with Allie and this is blind advice, though it is from the heart: Basically DJ, if you know you love her and you want to be with her, then apologize to her and promise her that you will change these very things that are holding you back from having the fulfilling relationship you both deserve. You already did it in this blog post and I know if you just tell her these things directly and focus some of the massive amount of energy you have into this most important thing in life, your relationship, you two can be happy and in love again. By you posting this on your blog, I know you're not too prideful to do so DJ. So, if you really want her back and you ask her to have faith in you by promising to make the changes you need to in order to remove this wedge in your otherwise (I’m assuming) beautiful relationship, you will rock at this too! I was listening to the radio today and randomly came across this program where they were talking about happily married couples (not that you're married, but it applies to any close relationship) Out of all the couples they polled that have been together for over 20 years, they all said that they “worked” on their relationship. This means, just like flying an airplane, constantly making adjustments and being aware and sensitive to the changes you need to make. Also, I read once that one of the greatest directors and achievers of our time – Steven Spielberg, works 8 hours a day just like everyone else, so he can go home and spend time with his family, which he often brings with him to locations he’s working. Life is about balance. Or simply put, quoting from The Godfather – "A man is not a man if he doesn't spend time with his family."

3rd Part
You can REALLY, REALLY, ignore this 3rd part if you want: In addition, it's very simple DJ, I know you're a man who strives to do the things the Lord would have you do, things that will bring true and lasting happiness... If she is your true love, it’s simple, you need to marry her. Ask yourself if she is this for you. If you can see each other happily spending the rest of your lives together, there is no reason to not give 100% of yourself to her. You need to be true to yourself and to Allie. This is the ultimate sign of trust and with that brings ultimate intimacy in heart, mind, body, and spirit, and therefore, greatest fulfillment.

Much love DJ,


Bobby Earle said...

I'm with you 100%, man. I have no clue how people get through things without loads of support. I'm so lucky to have a lot of it - and I'm so glad you are two :)

Can't wait 'till we get back home. We'll kick it fo' sho'. I think you deserve a much smoother 2009, so that's what I'll be praying for.


Anonymous said...

I am so with Bobby on this one. I was once told if you had ONE good friend you were lucky because not too many even have that. I'm blessed to have more then that and grateful.

DJ, hold on 2009 is coming and it's going to be good!

Andy J said...

Hey DJ;

Our path have crossed so many times during the past 4 years. Partner Con, WPPI and e-mail I hope to by you a beeer this year at WPPI (no excuse from me this year) Keep your head up.

Andy John

Blue Mountain Photo Works said...

Thanks so much for sharing this DJ.

Veronica Slavin said...

When I was 19, I married my husband, a Christian man, a surfer, and we lived in Santa Barbara. We traveled together and he traveled alot, for surfing. He loved to be adventurous and he was pretty good with making money, too. We ended up having kids and were in shops :) He hit 40 and just didn't want to do it anymore. I realized too, that marriage had kept him from doing things he HAD to do for himself. Bottom line is we cannot change ourself into something nor can we change the other person. You can bend for a while, but you ultimately will live your life. When you find this out after marriage and kids, it really sucks for everyone. Better to live your life and do it the best you can. If you have a lot of business ideas, those are your gift. You will only get more successful and hotter with age....Funny thing was, I put down my photography career to work on his surfing career and now he's a photographer :)

Kimberlee West said...

DJ, I agree 100%. Thanks for encouraging people to reach out to the people around them. Exactly one year ago I went through the most difficult thing of my entire life, and when people reached out to me and allowed me to be real and raw... it was like a breath of fresh air. :)

Unknown said...

Hang in there bro. Call me if you need to talk.

Michael + Anna Costa said...

For sure Veronica,

I totally respect what you're saying. We should all do what we love, no doubt. Anyone that ever asks you to give up your dreams does not truly love you and is very selfish indeed. All I'm saying is that life is about balance and I believe we are put on this earth to learn how to become the best version of ourselves we can be. We are all meant to change for the better and if one wants to put all of their energy into working and that's what will make them truly happy, then that's what they should do. But, most people need to carve out a reasonable amount of time to spend with the ones they love to truly get the most meaning out of life. Most people need close relationships. But I agree with what you're saying. We should not change things about us that make us happy.