I went to a beautiful wedding last night. Beautiful doesn't even do it justice but I don't have a very good repertoire of words so that's about as good as I can do to explain it. The ceremony, the couple, the guests, the way they met, the people they are, everything was just heavenly. It was one of only a handful of weddings I've ever been to and not been working. Sean, the groom, is the newest addition to our crew and is a total stud.
I ended up leaving a bit early and coming home to do one of my favorite evening traditions which is to grab a glass of wine and watch as the sun goes down and the city lights come up. It's the most peaceful time of the day for me and I love it but tonight I couldn't stop crying. When I look out over the city my mind always wanders to thoughts of people I know. I dunno why but it does and tonight I couldn't get a conversation out of my head that I had just had at the wedding with the sweet photographer there. We got chatting during the reception and she asked me, "DJ, do you get hatemail?"
my heart sank.
...and is still sinking.
Not because I do - but because she does. I can handle it and sometimes I deserve it! People write me the most random stuff on both ends of the spectrum. I hear things that *should* make me blush and things that should make me want to bury myself
...but God's given me a resilience to it. Growing up in locker rooms will do that to you! Words have little effect on me. I was talking with my friend Amy about this the other night. I guess this "resilience" effects other areas of my life but there's a reason for it and I can deal with it when it's directed towards me but other people have asked me this same question, for the same reason, and my heart breaks for them...
For those of you who have gotten hit with something like this - I'm sorry. Please know it's not about you. What they are saying to you are lies and are based in their own insecurities. It will probably still bother you and write me if it does. email@example.com. We can share in it together.