I went to a beautiful wedding last night. Beautiful doesn't even do it justice but I don't have a very good repertoire of words so that's about as good as I can do to explain it. The ceremony, the couple, the guests, the way they met, the people they are, everything was just heavenly. It was one of only a handful of weddings I've ever been to and not been working. Sean, the groom, is the newest addition to our crew and is a total stud.
I ended up leaving a bit early and coming home to do one of my favorite evening traditions which is to grab a glass of wine and watch as the sun goes down and the city lights come up. It's the most peaceful time of the day for me and I love it but tonight I couldn't stop crying. When I look out over the city my mind always wanders to thoughts of people I know. I dunno why but it does and tonight I couldn't get a conversation out of my head that I had just had at the wedding with the sweet photographer there. We got chatting during the reception and she asked me, "DJ, do you get hatemail?"
my heart sank.
...and is still sinking.
Not because I do - but because she does. I can handle it and sometimes I deserve it! People write me the most random stuff on both ends of the spectrum. I hear things that *should* make me blush and things that should make me want to bury myself
...but God's given me a resilience to it. Growing up in locker rooms will do that to you! Words have little effect on me. I was talking with my friend Amy about this the other night. I guess this "resilience" effects other areas of my life but there's a reason for it and I can deal with it when it's directed towards me but other people have asked me this same question, for the same reason, and my heart breaks for them...
For those of you who have gotten hit with something like this - I'm sorry. Please know it's not about you. What they are saying to you are lies and are based in their own insecurities. It will probably still bother you and write me if it does. dj@davidjay.com. We can share in it together.
Happy Monday,
DJ
12 comments:
amen to that DJ, i still get tons of hate mail. well, it's actually usually anonymous blog comments since most folks don't have the guts to send their messages via email. it's ok though. i have thick skin and can take it. i do feel bad when new photographers get nasty grams from bitter retards with nothing better to do with their time then try to tear people down. i don't get it??
see you soon my friend!
ahhhh this is so hard for me! thank you for your kind heart dj...
dj, i think this is the most poignant and heartfelt blog I have ever read. Your heart for people continues to shine through all the adversity that comes.
Continue to seek Christ in everything... this has been a challenge for me lately. Such a simple teaching of the Gospel, yet, it is SO hard to accomplish.
Thank you DJ for this reminder... always seek Christ first... in everything we do- seek Christ. It truly is God's desire for us to worship and serve Him through our lives... even in the hard times!
blessings!
Hey DJ,
This was such a sad post but so happy you wrote it. There is no more room for hate....we need more peace in our world and people need to embrace that. My sister, who was extremely young just passed away this weekend. She had a very long struggle with a disease that eventually took her life and it saddens me to hear people utilize their short time on this precious earth to hurt and hate.
So sad.... :(
Someone on OSP said once, "You know you've made it when you get hate email or hate blog comments!" I have yet to get any, so I guess I haven't made it yet, ha. When I do though, I think I'm going to have to learn how to take it, because I'm *super* sensitive.
I really love this post... :) Its insane because there are always going to be people who tell you you arent good enough or who will make you feel completely inferior...but thats not how God looks at us and I feel like in a business like this...those crap comments are almost inevitable and sometimes unbearable. And its REALLY hard not to take it personally because although it may be "all business..." to some,its like Meg Ryan said in You've got mail..."its only business to you...but to me..it IS personal" I totally admire and envy those with thick skin...thanks for sharing and being an open book DJ. Inspiration...again. :)
unless there's really good reason for the person giving you a hard time... like your years getting teased in the locker room :)
j/k dude. i love ya!
I actually got two hateful messages this morning, and my thoughts have been lingering on them all day. God totally spoke to me through this blog post--thank you.
dude - you are one of the nicest person I have met. You take the time to get to know people, listen to them, talk to them. I only have love and respect for you.
Hope to see you soon in NY.
I'm an amateur photographer hoping to turn pro in a few years...this post hits so close to home :( Negative feedback has been one of the areas I've really struggled with.
Thanks for your post, you've given me hope :)
I am definetly not @ the "made it" stage in photography just a lil newbie out there. i have read so much about you on J*'s blog, =) always such nice things but hadnt been to your blog until now. i got a horribly mean comment on my blog on friday and another photog gave me this link, thank you for posting this. Its sad for people to take time out of their day to hate :( but i am trying to be stronger and just learn from it.
This post truly showed your kind heart =) something that is appreciated & inspiring! Thanks D.J =)
I aspire to some day be cool enough to get hate mail. ;)
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