Friday, February 02, 2007

OSP - UK

I was laying on my bed in London when Vanessa came over so we could go to dinner. I was shattered. The travel nightmares coming out of Texas the week before and then the first 4 days of the workshop combined with the 3 days of touring Paris had caught up to me. She laid down next to me and asked if everything was ok. I remember thinking that the only thing I wanted to do right then was breath. Of course I was breathing the whole time but I felt like I was living outside myself and not really experiencing things because I was feeling burdened by the next expectation of me.

The first time I experienced this feeling was last year at WPPI. Showit Web 2 had just been released and I had my first platform talk and so there was a lot of buzz going around. Gary warned me that it might be a more intense experience than I was used to and it's been a blessing having him guide me through a lot of this. I actually spent a good bit of those days in Vegas sleeping in my room because I was so exhausted.

Anyway, the next day was the day of the OSP-UK meeting which I had been really excited about. When you guys first planned it I was amped that I was going to be in Europe and OSP-UK was actually the whole reason for coming to England. I didn't know what to do. My body was maxed and I just wanted to spend more time with Vanessa. I realize that this bummed a lot of people out and I am very sorry. I think that I made the right decision but in the wrong way and at the wrong time. I really should've seen that my limits were going to be stretched and that I was overcommitting myself. One thing I haven't shared with you is that I'll probably be back in Europe a few more times this year and so I knew this wouldn't be the last chance to connect and I really want to be 100% present when I'm with all of you - that definitely wouldn't have been the case this time. I heard you had a wonderful time and I'm so thankful to be able to experience it a little bit through the forum.

Again, I'm so sorry for the way many of you feel and I don't blame any of you for being upset. Like I mentioned in a previous post my business and my life seem incredibly out of control and there is a lot of good that comes from that but there are times when it breaks me and I have to take a step back.

Thanks for your understanding, support and prayers. They mean the world to me.

Yours,
DJ
.

26 comments:

K.C. said...

Sometimes you just need to take some time for yourself. It's the right thing to do.

Patricia Stein said...

To be any good to others, you must take good care of yourself.

Joy Moody Photography said...

I feel stressed just reading your post. You are just too well liked DJ and everyone wants to feed off of you and be around you. I think you are learing as you go that you need to schedule some off time during your travels. I think everyone understands and you are such a good person in general I don't think anyone could stay angry at you for too long.

Carl Walters said...

Apology accepted DJ. My main upset was as I discussed in my PM. No hard feelings, and thank you for this posting.
Carl

Mike said...

While the heart and spirit are unbounded, the mind and body are physically limited. Love ya DJ!

Craig said...

Let us know when your next in the UK it would bee goot to hook up. You don't fancy shooting our wedding in Scotland (28th July), Nice old castle on the coast!

Paige Kearin said...

Soo many people love DJ!

Chelo said...

Don't feel bad about taking care of yourself. You need to take care of yourself in order to continue with the mission God had put before you. Rest up!

Liana said...

Get some rest & alone-time, go get a phone with NO email on it (or just throw out phones all together), declare email bankruptcy, take a bubble bath and endulge in a little chocolate and wine...

...oh wait, no that's what I try to remember when THAT feeling happens.

DJ, you're only human, not gumby. ;)

Phil Barber said...

DJ,

I believe you started doing photography to enjoy
the freedom to do what you wanted to do.

So you have control over what you do and not
become a robot.

I left the corporate world two years ago to do
the same - so I could spend time with my family take my kids to school and watch them grow up.

That's what is important to me and I make my choices based on that.

I was at the UK meeting and although a little sad we didn't get to see you.

You made your choice because it was right for
you at that time. The people closest to
you are the most important. You cannot be in 10 different places at once.

Sometimes you have to selfish and you cannot please everyone all the time.

There will be other times.

Get some rest. Recharge your batteries.

Tomorrow is a new day!

Phil

|| davidjay || said...

Thanks for the posts everyone. Craig - I'd die to shoot your wedding in Scotland... but I have a wedding in Chicago that weekend and so I think I'd be overcommitting. :)

April Greer Photography said...

and people wonder why streisand and madonna cancel concerts last minute! Its the same scoop, sometimes people just overextend themsevlves! get some rest!

Jasmine said...

DJ, I'm SO glad to hear you took a minute for yourself (and Vanessa) just to relax and unwind. Life's much too short to be stressed out! :)

xoxo...

eadwine said...

dude, i think you're facing alittle burn out. prob need some time by yourself and friends. don't be so hard on urself man, it happens to all of us.

in life we want to meet the expectations of man but we lose track of our focus.

chin up cheer up, u're doing fine.
will be praying for ya

swan said...

Hey, man! Why haven't you returned my 17 phone calls and all the text messages and PMs I've sent?

You are such a selfish jerk.

(hahah)

Seriously, take a week off... Lose your phone. Forward all your emails to me and I'll try to answer them for you. Go to the beach. Sleep. Hang with VJay (I'm probably getting a little ahead of things by calling her that...). You've accomplished an incredible amount in the last 3 years. It'll all be here in a week.

You truly rock.

Anne said...

::::::::::::::BIG HUG::::::::::::::::::::

Find some time to be alone with God every day.

Sofia said...

I'm stressed reading your post...relax and unwind...people love you and will understand....sometimes you just have to take a break....send us your phone and forward all emails to the forum....we'll answer them for ya

enjoy V while its still just the two of you

David Medina Photography said...

I can understand what you going through. Mike Colon said something today that hit me...

"I think there is only one way to beat the clock: It's to spend time on the important things." Mike Colónn

Maybe that helps you...

Natalie Joy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Natalie Joy said...

Sounds like a job for the Olivia Suite:)

|| davidjay || said...

Natalie - I agree!!!! It's been way too long! :)

Daily Photo Tips! said...

Ahhh...I see you are now ready for parenthood.

You think I'm kidding? (realizing that most of the time...I am...)

I'm not. Working two full-time jobs and trying to do my share in helping to raise 3 small kids...I know exactly of the feelings you are describing. The hard part is...you can't just blow off your kids. Even when you know you can't give them 50%, let alone 75, 80 or 100...you have to be there for them.

Don't get me wrong though...I wouldn't trade my experiences as a father for any of my business accomplishments.

Melissa Carl said...

GO COLTS!!!!

Frank DiMeo said...

Blessing Brother!
You're the best!


Thanks for watching out for everybody's main man Gary. Yea Missy...Loooouuve the colts!

Eddie said...

osp or vanessa, david i am happy
for you that you finally got your priorties straight..:)

Bob & Dawn Davis said...

When we ask God to bless us indeed and expand our borders, he listens!