I was laying on my bed in London when Vanessa came over so we could go to dinner. I was shattered. The travel nightmares coming out of Texas the week before and then the first 4 days of the workshop combined with the 3 days of touring Paris had caught up to me. She laid down next to me and asked if everything was ok. I remember thinking that the only thing I wanted to do right then was breath. Of course I was breathing the whole time but I felt like I was living outside myself and not really experiencing things because I was feeling burdened by the next expectation of me.
The first time I experienced this feeling was last year at WPPI. Showit Web 2 had just been released and I had my first platform talk and so there was a lot of buzz going around. Gary warned me that it might be a more intense experience than I was used to and it's been a blessing having him guide me through a lot of this. I actually spent a good bit of those days in Vegas sleeping in my room because I was so exhausted.
Anyway, the next day was the day of the OSP-UK meeting which I had been really excited about. When you guys first planned it I was amped that I was going to be in Europe and OSP-UK was actually the whole reason for coming to England. I didn't know what to do. My body was maxed and I just wanted to spend more time with Vanessa. I realize that this bummed a lot of people out and I am very sorry. I think that I made the right decision but in the wrong way and at the wrong time. I really should've seen that my limits were going to be stretched and that I was overcommitting myself. One thing I haven't shared with you is that I'll probably be back in Europe a few more times this year and so I knew this wouldn't be the last chance to connect and I really want to be 100% present when I'm with all of you - that definitely wouldn't have been the case this time. I heard you had a wonderful time and I'm so thankful to be able to experience it a little bit through the forum.
Again, I'm so sorry for the way many of you feel and I don't blame any of you for being upset. Like I mentioned in a previous post my business and my life seem incredibly out of control and there is a lot of good that comes from that but there are times when it breaks me and I have to take a step back.
Thanks for your understanding, support and prayers. They mean the world to me.